So, here’s a little overview of semi-useless data - after all that’s the kind of stuff I wrote down here all the time so why break this tradition at the very end, right!? Here we go, one more time… (sorry for not putting up a decent table… blame Wordpress!)

So the million-dollar question (or 28 Euro, that’s the subscription fee for this website ;))for now is: is this where it ends? The answer is short and simple: NO! After a month of boredom I found a job in a utility company (this one - for those that can be bothered) and can now start “walking new roads”… for the time being I’m keeping the details to myself, but there’s new stuff coming down! At the moment I’m working on ReneMiltenburg.Com v2.0 (myboringlife.com was already taken so I’m sticking to this one ;)), which should reveal a bit more of the details. All I can say is: keep coming back - at some point you’ll be surprised ;)

Many thanks to all of you for your interest so far - even though comments don’t show up, this site attracted more visitors than the average hey-i-am-going-on-a-trip-and-use-a-free-cheesy-unoriginal-prefab-website-such-as-waarbenjij.nu webpage :)

Oh, and finally… I did do some stuff ever since I got home. Check out some pics below ;)

-René

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Remember El Salvador? ;)

I learnt to be more charming...

like I said, charming!

Well, for a little bit! So it’s the end of Central America - it’s been great, marvellous and all that but I suggest you just entertain yourself by looking at around 400 pictures I posted in the previous bunch of articles :) (I know you guys hate reading ;))

Back to the “First World”, back to (more) luxury stuff… off to the USA for a little road trip! Upfront I was sure entering the country would be the biggest challenge in this final part of my trip, but after answering only 100 questions and being held up for another 15 minutes in customs I was allowed to enter! (what the hell is it with me and customs anyway!?)

It eventually took a while to get to Phoenix but all went more or less as planned… which freaked me out since that didn’t happen once in the last 10 months ;) Anyway, I was happy to get back in the heat since that’s what I had been in most of the time. So off goes our road trip… first stop: Sedona! Famous for red rock formations in the desert (and extremely good musicians), a generally nice atmosphere and good sushi ;)

- see pics! Second stop: Grand Canyon! Guess there’s no need to explain but I’ll do it anyway; as you know, everything rips up after a while. So does the earth so there’s the Grand Canyon: a rip with rock, trees and big birds :) Life’s just so simple at time :)

Stop three: Las Vegas! No, I’m not broke. I’m not a millionaire either. And whatever else they say about “Sin City” is true! But it’s nice to see it for once and experience what over the top is really like :) Also felt unique

as I’m one of very few people that has come out clean and sane ;) LOL

Stop four: Disneyland Posh sh*thole Los Angeles! Time to increase the Disneyland-factor on this trip, and it can’t be made much easier than here in LA - Universal Studios was fun though :) Oh, and the walk of fame isn’t that impressive… though I do expect the ReneMiltenburg.Com star to be included there in about 15 years ;)

Stop five: Home! Oops…. NOT! Racing back to Phoenix and getting ready to head back home… aka the hardest part! Nothing special there, except for an early trip to the airport and standing in line on the curbstones :) As I had a 7-hour layover in New York I decided to add an extra stop to this last part, so here we go… Stop six: Manhattan! I couldn’t make it much cheesier than sitting in the AirTrain, heading straight into Manhattan, walking down a few blocks and going up the Empire State Building - but hey, it’s one of those “gotta-have-dones” in life, don’t you think? Besidews, the views were nice ;)

Enjoy the bunch of pics I posted down here. Next up: arriving home and The Aftermath! (like someone’s ever going to read that - LOL!)

-René

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Red rocks - Sedona

Rockin' on... Grand Canyon!

FYI: the thing is rather big...

Sorry - story of my life…. the Mañana-feeling! LOL

Back to the efficiency of the third world… Guatemala! No offense to either country of course, but there were a certain number of “reliefs” after leaving Cuba. For example, you can actually talk to people in the street (one of the reasons I love Guate so much is its friendly people) without having to say either of the following:

“No, I don’t want to buy your cigars”

“No, I don’t need a tourguide”

“No, I do not want to sleep with you (woman) / your wife (family offer)”

and “No, I definately don’t want to marry you!”

Anyway, that’s Cuba… and maybe a little bit of personal frustration ;) Let’s move on to the final steps in Central America; flying back to Guatemala was easy, though interesting as quite a bit of commonly called “undefinable smoke” entered the cabin. Well, I don’t panic as long as the crew doesn’t so whatever… and we even got there on time! Another few bumpy rides (I love those chicken buses!) and a little boat trip took us to the biggest miss-out on my Guatemala-list: San Pedro La Laguna! We got into this nice lake-view hostel on a prime location and paid the extortionate amount of $2,50 a night for a room. How dare they!Time for a little more chilling, lazing around, hippie-being and this:

Kayaking - it’s not like I haven’t done this before… but hey, it’s Lake Atitlan so one should just do it. Besides I could use a little exercising after being linear for a while ;)

Lazing around - see above (and about 25 other posts - this site has a search function ya know!? ;))

Volcano climbing - these cone-shaped things are scattered all over the place so it’s a matter of picking one’s poison! Volcan San Pedro is the nearest and (as they say) prettier one, thus a good one to climb in order to say goodbye to volcano-climbing! (for now that is!)

Losing weight - it’s one way to do it… stuff came out quicker than it was supposed to… no details!

Shopping - Come on, I’m a man… but the home-front demands gifts once you return so it’s something you just have to do ;)

So there’s one way to “lose” another 5 days in Central America. Next up is the USA, Arizona and California to be exact. Come back soon for the final travelling article!

-René

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Volcan San Pedro - who can run up fastest? ;)

In France they call this "hors catégorie" ;)

Local weather forecast: a very high Holland-factor!

Sorry, that list is too long! I’ll write it down in an “about me v2.0″ section at some point in time but not now. (Yes, there are some background developments going on with regards to this website, so stay tuned!)

So, back to business. From city to city, bus to truck and the hills to the coast; time to complete the loop! After Bayamo (sshhh, be quiet!) it was time for some more coastal work; off to Trinidad! FInding a place to stay is easy as there are about 1200 rooms for rent and 400 tourists scattered throughout the city… so you’re pretty much being nailed to the wall by casa owners desperately trying to rent their place to you - lol! Having to deal with such a thing a 6am is all the more fun! Other than that, this has definately been the nicest city I’ve been to in all of Cuba, though I know a lot of people will argue this :) Trinidad forms a nice mix of Caribbean and Latino/Cuban culture, along with beautiful surroundings in the inland as well as a pretty beach. Quite the place to crash down for a couple days and get drunk so that’s what I did! The days merely consisted of city-viewing, beach-bumming, exchanging stories (and laughing my butt off) and dancing! Great to be there so go watch pictures like you always do!

Next up; a final visit to Habana! Since I knew I’d be passing through here a couple more times I decided not to visit all parts in one go so here’s part 3! You know, buildings, old cars and stuff… so on to Vinales; tobacco country, backed by limestone rocks and a lot less linear than the rest of Cuba - or so it seemed at first sight :) I got there together with this guy (you’re welcome Trav!) and went on cave visits, biking trips and some longer hikes, in the middle of the day while it was 33C (what were we thinking again!?). Visiting local tobacco farmers, discovering (well, sort of) a cave nobody told us about and going on bike trips is fun after a lot of city-flavour!

After Vinales it was time to crash down in Las Terrazas, a Soviet-style model eco-village (try to say that 10 times in a row), pretty much out of the way of most places. Pretty fit to chill out for a while and explore a little more nature, after all I now realise I like being near nature more than being in big cities :) Part of the fun was staying in a bird’s nest-style house but I forgot to take a picture, sorry!

Then, the final stop: Habana, getting ready for the return leg to Guatemala. This basically meant I re-re-re-reconfirmed my flight for the 5th time - although it was fun I didn’t want to go through this hassle again - and found the time to help Travis out trying to file a report for his stolen camera… NOT!!! A couple hours, three different police stations and A LOT of talking later, we were simply being told this: “Your story about this theft is strange, so how about we start investigating your story and hold you in custody until we sort this out?”. Ehmmmm… (sweat, tremble, gnawing for breath) … not quite what we need only 4 hours before our flight’s departure. Anyway, we eventually managed to get the hell out of the police station and subsequently the country :) Socialism, at some point it just gets to you… bye bye Cuba!

The next article will be posted on Wednesday night so stay tuned and come back soon!! Hasta luego!!

-René

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A church! After all it's been a while!

Trinidad's street "life"

Trinidad - unique rooftops and hills ;)

So after a little bit of Habana (and again staying with my friend’s parents) it was time to explore more of the island; time to head east! Osmar left for his new apartment in Moa, quite eastward and asked me to visit him there instead of Habana (read the previous article if you don’t follow this). No problem… all it takes is an 800-km overnight bus trip - Vamonos!

As most of you know there’s a strict division between stuff available for Cubans (limited) and tourists (less limited, though still very linear). Being a good civilian you don’t challenge this and stick to whatever Castro & Co. set up for you, so you just see and experience the same stuff as everyone else. Just the thing for me - NOT! It’s an instant challenge to do things (and I mean everything) the Cuban way. There’s certain pros and cons to it, the pros being the price and the cons being quality, standing in line, going through a hassle etc). This article explains perfectly… and yes, most of you know about my (overly expressed) critics against Lonely Planet but this is something they pointed out really well!

Anyway, let’s take off! First stop: Holguin. Reason: transit. Means of transport to Moa: Cuban truck, commonly fit for cattle (unfortunately I’m not joking, again…). Despite reluctance of government-transport-company-whatever-kind-of-workers to tell me how to get on those locals eventually helped me out: pull a number! Cool, just like the butcher back home! Number 81 up to 119 would be let on the next truck, or so I was told. So I got in line, got a number, looked at the note and it said….. 341! See above to read what I said about cons ;) A lot of hassling, sweet talking, nice looks and a friendly local got me number 101 eventually - I like free trade - so I got on but won’t ever repeat this exercise; me getting on means a Cuban who can’t afford the “luxury” bus has to wait another 2 hours to catch the next truck. Yes, I felt (and plead) guilty…

Moa isn’t quite the place for tourists - and for good reason. A nearby mine causes severe pollution, local population suffers from a wide variety of health problems and the air is noticeably messed up - my eyes started irritating within 12 hours after my arrival. Anyway, it’s friendship that counts and the festival and families we visited to were nice. It was also interesting to see a market for Cubans only (notice the variety in the picture) and to have a look past the screen the beloved government put up (here’s one reason for not posting while still being there ;)).

As I’d like to get older than 32, I soon took off to Baracoa (lying I was a student so I could get into a Cuban taxi) - on the easternmost tip of the island. The surroundings are gorgeous and after a (relatively) big deal of city life I was up for some more nature. So here I go: biking, beach-bumming, climbing a hill (El Yunque - 563m) and generally hopping around and being unable to sit still. Check out the pictures I’d say! The easiest way to get around was by bike, which has been my best and closest encounter with Cuban quality so far; about 5km out of town, in the middle of almost nowhere, the chain broke (in 2 pieces, that is) - reason enough to see an afternoon going down the drain but locals brought the solution. How to MacGyver a bike back together: It’s simple; use a piece of iron from the asphalt, some grass, a rock, spit and… voila - you’re all set! I hereby claim being unable to remember this so you guys won’t start asking me to fix your bikes next time ;)

There’s one way to leave Baracoa; by national bus company Viazul, thus linear… so I linearly went to Santiago de Cuba. I apologise once again for being sour, but I don’t understand why everyone’s so lyrical about the place; although music and nightlife are nice and the city features the funkiest shop I have ever visited (and probably will ever visit) there isn’t that much to impress me with. One day was all it took to continue my linear route to Bayamo where I stayed in a linear family house (vomit!) and visited linear stuff (barf!) - if it wasn’t for Labour Day! Thank heaven for that - another local festival and no tourists around! Since Bayamo seems to be even more quiet than Baracoa this is a welcome alternative to … linearism :) Labour Day might be (yet another) socialism-flavoured party in Cuba, but it’s definately worth to get out there and meet a lot of people. After receiving about 20 warnings (yeah, yeah… tourists obvisouly weren’t supposed to go there!) a bicycle taxi took me to a big field outside the city centre where the celebration took place. No parades, no propaganda and a lot of music, drunk people and acrobatics in order to get cheap Cuban beer (see picture below) - looks like fun eh!? Anyway, it’s fun hanging out with locals despite the 50 100 173 attempts of people to slash my bag (come on, you honestly think I’d carry anything of value on my back!?).

Alright, enjoy the pictures below! Next update: Sunday - life’s all about friends and music!

-René

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Means of transport - Holguin (illegal for tourists)

Means of transport - Moa (illegal for tourists)

Means of transport - Moa (illegal for tourists... SIGH!)

… in Cuba! Exactly - it’s been almost 3 years months since the last time I wrote something down here so it’s high time to finish what I started, don’t you agree? I am writing to you from the aftermath of a 10-month trip but in view of lovely memories it’s all the more pleasant to write about stuff that happened. And A LOT happened down there in Cuba, so let’s get started…

Right here I mentioned my ability to run into the most random situations and this has been overly confirmed during the month I spent in Cuba. I’m talking ancient times, 18 April 2009 A.D….

How to get to Cuba - It’s so simple. I should’ve known. Cuba, Cubana Airlines and e-tickets, it just doesn’t add up. But yet I somehow did assume all would be fine. My flight was bound to leave around 9.30am and somehow I still hadn’t seen anyone from Cubana Air by 8.30. Luckily I bumped into another few people who were bound to be on the same flight, so at least I got some assurance I wasn’t completely wrong. We managed to get in touch with some guy from the airline by phone, who subsequently came to the airport by bike. Easy to recognise him as he

was the only one riding around the main terminal on a bicycle! A short conversation resulted in the following explanation: “As there’s only four of you, we decided not to operate this flight, sorry!” … ehhh, so what do we do now? “Three of you can be rebooked on a flight to Cuba through Panama City”. Right, you feel it coming… “…with the exception of Mr Miltenburg, as he was informed of this situation previously”. WTF!? I asked him when and how as despite many hangovers, I never noticed anything; “I’ll call the office, hang on…” (he calls and reverts back to me) “They sent you an e-mail half an hour ago”. One thing in life I’m strictly convinced of is the fact fighting is for losers, so a simple look from my end seemed to change things: “I’ll have you booked along with the other three on the flight through Panama”. Viva Cubana - here we go!

Alright, so apart from a little intercambio de equipaje (don’t feel like explaining, sorry) we landed in Habana around 1am. Hurray! Next up: getting through customs. This should be simple and straightforward and for tourists it obviously is, however one Cuban guy on our flight didn’t seem to get through. The reason: despite his double nationality he couldn’t take any luxury goods into the country, unless he paid some serious $$$ tax. Being the angel I am (LOL), I decided to be of a little help by saying his bag with luxury goods was mine. The response from customs was simple: “It’s not” . My statement “Wanna prove it’s not?” seemed to be enough to let us through… after which the bag magically disappeared in the arrivals hall, despite my newly-made Cuban friend staying with me. So yes, I smuggled. And although I’m not proud of it, it’s still funny :)

My reward consisted of a free night of sleep; I was taken to the guy’s (Osmar is his name) parents and got to stay in a small Cuban apartment, after a nightly walk through Habana, which is quite the experience in itself! A combination of decaying colonial grandeur, Cubans hanging out and drunk tourists… it’s all in the mix! Down at the apartment I was amazed by the way things looked - it’s nowhere near poverty but it’s the fact the newest piece of equipment in the room dated back to 1975… check the pics to get an idea!

The next day consisted of a short walk through Habana and a take-off to Varadero. Yes - that’s the place full of tourists, outrageously priced hotels and so forth… a place I would definately skip if it wasn’t for a friend staying there! Getting there is half the fun (again!) since there don’t seem to be any buses on Sunday (!?) and the only means of transport - though illegal - is by a 1950s Chevrolet taxi. Yaay!! Huffing, puffing, coughing and bumping (I mean the taxi, not me!) we got to Varadero. While searching for my friend I initially wasn’t let into the resort. The reason: looks and way of dressing in general - welcome to Varadero, though I can’t state they were entirely wrong ;)

Varadero officially has no underground scene (illegal taxis, houses for rent, restaurants, etc) so it took a whole 10 minutes to arrange all of that, which for Cuban measures is a record (in terms of slowness, not speediness). Hurray and respect for my casita - I was right on the beach, in the non-touristy area! The best game to play on the beach was “Find the white guy” (really hard!) and at the same time my friend arranged a resort-wristband for me so I could make use of some 5-star facilities down the road as well. Sweet!

After a little bit of beach (just can’t get enough…) it was time to hit Habana again, in bright daylight this time! What can I say - blabla colonial stuff, old buildings, culture, cigars, old cars (yay!) etcetcetc… you probably heard most of it before so enjoy the series of pictures below!

Next up (Wednesday, that is): How to travel east and meeting a bunch of MacGyvers! Stay tuned!

-René

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Standard decoration, present in every house!

"I'm a Cuban, please take a picture of me!" ... Sure! :)

My first hotel room (Habana)

Another little hello! I’m back from Cuba which – theoretically – means I can start scribbling down here again! Since the last article was posted in the stone age several weeks ago, let’s do a little catching-up here; I’m still summarising my “history” on Cuba so meanwhile you can have a little read on my closure through El Salvador. I know, that’s not fair, but life isn’t fair anyway so get used to it! ;)

So alright, away from the parties and beach – on to the hills in central El Salvador. Suchitoto is supposed to be everything El Salvador was before trouble started and it certainly has a nice character of its own. They say travelling is about discovering oneself – and this trip is no exception – so I tried out my mental flexibility on seeing some art in nearby Las Palmas (no… not here!). I “discovered” (read: reassured myself) the fact that art just isn’t for me. Period. Funny buildings though J and it made for a nice trip anyway!

Next up was a little history lesson, all to do with the aforementioned civil war, of which most tourists seem to think it’s still going. (Idiots!) A long trip to Perquin, in North-eastern El Salvador, and a hook-up with a former guerrilla warrior is just the thing to do this! We ended up viewing (and sometimes) holding some of their equipment – from Soviet rifles to 0.5-inch TV’s – which is pretty impressive. No pics allowed unfortunately. Also visited a village in which the biggest massacre in that time took place (El Mozote) and I must admit it’s shocking to say the very least. Good to learn about a place though a different point of view, especially when stories are being told to you by people whose experiences are all first-hand.

Anyway, on to more positive things; spent the night in San Salvador (thanks Jeremy!) which despite its ten murders a day still has a nice vibe to it! Then, on to Guatemala City (my passport is pretty much full of Guatemalan stamps by now – lol) and off to the country of endless creativity: Cuba! So while I put that stuff together, you go enjoy an old song, alright?

-René

PS: Would you all please stop counting down my travelling days in your comments / e-mails / Facebook messages? I’d like not to be reminded too much (no worries, I’m just kidding…right? ;)).

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Silent Suchitoto

ehmm... ART!

"How to crash a plane" - Salvadorean style

Thanks for your patience (or annoyment!) and come back soon!

Regards from Trinidad,

René

The border crossing between Guatemala and El Salvador (known as Anguiatú) was the most intriguing until now. While crossing, loads and loads of questions ran through my head: “Why am I being let through without trouble?” , “Where are the 25 bicycle-taxi-guys that try to run off with my bag?” , “Where are the regular 50 money-changers?” , “Why is nobody trying to rip me off in general?” and “Why is the migracion-guy not trying to make me pay some non-existent tax?”. Very strange. A little scary, even.

Once I got into El Salvador it was another walk to a point where buses (to Santa Ana) would pass. Fortunately I ended up in some funny watering hole; while waiting for the bus I got into a talk with a guy that threw about half a month salary into the jukebox, only to hear this song over and over again. Welcome to El Salvador - woo-hoo! :)

I decided to hit the western highlands first, in an area called “Ruta de las Flores”. That`s right: lots of flowers, but no hippes. Crashed down in a town named Juayua, which is mainly famous for its food fair. You could probably guess: I stuffed up quite a bit! Next day decided to rent a bike and visit the following spots:

Apaneca: A nice climb up (what the hell happened to my physical condition!?) - the town is quiet but nice. Had fun watching a colourful procession with locals - after all it was Semana Santa!

Laguna (not so) Verde: Crater lake in a volcano, just outside Apaneca. Nothing verde about it as it was blue :) Makes a nice ride though and chatting with locals was - as always - fun!

Concepción de Ataco: Upon entering the town I instantly noticed one thing: everyone was smiling! It took an instant to realise why; never seen so many colourfully painted houses together. If you´re in a bad mood, go here - a cure is guaranteed! Even I was smiling at the end :) Trivia: Missed the entrance to town and as a result had to bike an extra 5km uphill. Could use the exercise though!

Next day agreed to climb a waterfall - something different from all the swimming, right? :) My assumption the climb would be up proved to be wrong; we went down instead! No secured ropes, belts or other gear, it was all bare hand- and foot-work for the 15-20m difference in height. One word: amazing! Later on my guide told me he was one of very few people that were allowed to guide this tour, and even then not many people did it. I asked him why and the answer was as simple as astonishing: A short while ago a large group of guides and tourists got killed down there. Ever since it`s been quiet… even though locals figured out who did it and “took care” of the problem. I don`t want to know any more details…

As Easter weekend was approaching, which basically means all of Central America`s infrastructure gets jammed, I decided to chill out at a spot I really miss: the beach! Playa San Diego became the place of choice; not too crowded, nice waves and a really cool place to hang out!

As this trip continues, I moved back to the mountains, slowly digging into El Salvador`s history. Stay tuned for more news… soon!

-René

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Juayua - heart of town

Biking material

Procession Apaneca - nice dresses btw! :)

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Rio Dulce + longest bridge in Central America

My speedy kayak (the left one!)

Kayaking shot...

As I said, time to move on! I was shocked to see that my trail through Guatemala is actually making sense; it’s starting to become a (near) perfect loop… not quite in line with the way things have been going so far!

So the next logic step went down to Finca Tatin, a place on the Rio Dulce, between the equally named city and Lívingston - indeed, close to the Caribbean coast again! Somehow that area keeps attracting me but I’ll elaborate more on that in the near future (trust me, it doesn’t all end whenever you think it will ;)). Anyway, what’s to encounter here; sweltering heat and 3 litres of sweat per hour to begin with. Apart from that; kayaking, lots of community-based eco-tourism, great swimming spots (in the river, not the sea this time!), lovely indigenous villages, a devastating jungle-hike, Lívingston (a Garifuna / Caribbean coastal town) and last but not least: a rope-swing in combination with my self-destructive attitude! May I suggest you check the cartoon-like sequence at the end of the picture gallery :) All in all, time to be hyperactive again!

It all started with a 5-hour kayaking trip to a nearby biotope (Chocon Machacas - have fun pronouncing!). Just what my arms, shoulders and abdomen needed after all this sitting still! Besides, kayaking is fun and the trip was beautiful. Next day, next level: 32 degrees Celsius, extreme humidity and an unforgivingly lot of sunshine: time for a jungle-hike! This hike took us to some indigenous villages which gave a great insight in what everyday life really is like in Guatemala. Also, it felt reassuring to see my guide being just as worn as me at the end! The hike ended in Lívingston, so why not check it out straight away; it’s amazing how quickly Q’eqchi’ culture changes to rasta, yah man and reggae in just a few kilometers!

The final day was a chill-out day - after all the old man still needs to watch out for his foot (and lazy bones). Nonetheless, rope-swinging was still fun (and unsafe)!

The following days were mainly marked by transits and a weird border crossing into El Salvador, but I’m saving that one for the next post, in order not to drag on as I usually do :) Come back soon, more is on the way!

-René *no quote this time* Miltenburg